My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
True strength comes from lack of pants
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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