At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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