while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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