So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
