oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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