Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
