Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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