we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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