Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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