I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I want to make a zoo with you.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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