She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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