Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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