bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
