Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
