she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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