I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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