hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Im part way to drunk.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
