I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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