How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
