time to smoke my breakfast
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize