We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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