i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
