I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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