brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The cops high fived after they tackled you
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
