I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
