Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i've created a new STD.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
