I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
