dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I smell like Dick and happiness
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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