All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
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