Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
