That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
