addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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