at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
