dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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