Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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