is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Drake has all the answers
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
