you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
