I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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