i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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