Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
