oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
All I want is dick and wine.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
