The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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