You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I didn't notice because vodka
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
