Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
