VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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