Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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