Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize