no, he came in my armpit
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
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He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
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Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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