i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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