office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
