After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize