# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
