Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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