If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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