So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
