I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
It's Friday. Sex?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
