O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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