Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
