what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
only you would photoshop your dick
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
