I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We got so high we made milksteak
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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