There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
