woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
