I wanna passion pit in your ass
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She needs sedatives and a leash
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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